Today In Sports

KINKADES END SEASON WITH AWESOMENESS
by GinoGrosso

CINCINNATI - No one would have believed it in May (least of all the the Kicking Kinkades), but the beginner soccer team with intermediate dreams and professional determination moved above 500 today, finishing 4-3-1-awesome.

"Are you serious," asked team captain Ronson, in awe. "We finished with a winning season? Whoo hoo!"

Chimed Kari, part-time midfielder, full-time fabulous, "Ow! Ow!"

No one was more shocked than the Anderson Recreation League.

"It was like they'd never played soccer before," said a referee. "At best, they had a loose, very loose, grip of the rules."

In fact, the Kinkades former manager once said: "We'll never win any games, let alone score a goal."

More wrong, he could not have been.

Offensive leaders LeShaun and Cameron were a godsend for the team, quite frankly. Without their prior soccer skill, the Kinkades might not have ever learned what an actual soccer player looks like. Though mid-season, other players started to blossom, including Chris, Amber, Kari, Kelly, Big Bri, Gina, Brian, Shana, Jen, Pat, Paul, Sue, Doug, Janice, Ronson. (And thank god for subs.)

But no player stepped up and had more balls kicked at his face than Goalkeeper Jon, who in addition to guarding the goal, also shared his cooler of water.

The team also proved they were a fearsome foe after one player left the field on a stretcher.

"We're on fire!" said Amber when the firetruck rolled up after 911 was called.

In their last game of the season, the Kinkades went 8-2, with Cameron and Chris both scoring 2 and LeShaun, Paul, Brian and Shana all scoring 1. Team photographer, Gina, had her first assist. Afterward, she and Cameron celebrated their goal with a chest bump.

"You know how I do," she said.

Stay tuned for more news from this cinderella team when the fall league starts and the awesomeness continues.


GAME PHOTOS


Who's hot? LeShaun's hot.



Hey there cute girls... and boy.




Gina gets Paul loose for the final half.




"I bet you won't say that to my face."




Paul takes a header to the chest, after talkin smack about Ronson's momma.



Chase promised that if we finished on top, he's sport a mohawk. True to his word, enjoy!

What's That Taste In Your Mouth?

The sweet taste of revenge!

Liger Magic went down today, and they went down hard. It was sweet relief after they crushed us during our first match. Final score: 2-1. And only then because they scored on a penalty kick.

Our last game may have had ambulances and fire trucks, but this game brought out Liger Magic's famous Grunter! Who found her inspiration from the gutteral depths. HUUGHG!

Paul and Cameron scored our two, beautiful goals. (And I threw myself onto the pitch Brandi Chastain style in celebration.)

And kudos to the keeper, Jon, who prevented those bastards from scoring about nine times!




Kari led the team off the field wearing these "Devil wears fabulous sunglasses" shades.




Ronson puked up Gatorade David Beckham style. (Coaching the Kickin' Kinkades is dehydrating.)



The field is littered with light blue!




Instead of looking "spent," I look asleep.




Shana tears up the pitch. As usual!




Baby belly! And Aunt Melissa, who handed about five Liger's their asses with her ball handling. (Hey-O?)

For all you stat freaks...

Here's where you can access the current rankings on The Kicking Kinkades (or The Kickin Kincades according to the site). I had the link once, but I lost it (so maybe this is just for my benefit). We are currently in 4th place with five points...ow! ow!

http://www.andersonparks.com/APDSoccerStandings.htm